Lived It

Snack: The one movie not to watch on a date — you have been warned

Episode Summary

Plus all of our movie date stories — the salacious, the sweet, and the just plain awkward. What even makes a good date movie? Find out in this episode with Alexei Toliopoulos and Gen Fricker.

Episode Notes

Plus all of our movie date stories — the salacious, the sweet, and the just plain awkward. What even makes a good date movie? Find out in this episode with Alexei Toliopoulos and Gen Fricker.

Episode Transcription

Gen Fricker:

Hello, it's The Big Film Buffet Snack Edition. I'm Gen Fricker, this is my friend Alexei Toliopoulos.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Hello, Gen.

Gen Fricker:

Hello, Lex. I want to get into something deep with you. I want to have a deep conversation about the nature of humanity this week, the nature of-

Alexei Toliopoulos:

My lord!

Gen Fricker:

... Our primordial urges.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

We're having a D&M on the Snack Edition?

Gen Fricker:

I hope you don't mind.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I consent to the D&M.

Gen Fricker:

I have been thinking about this a lot, kind of an chicken and egg thing, of why we watch films on dates.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh my gosh. Okay.

Gen Fricker:

Why? When did this become a thing? I'm not saying good or bad, I'm just saying how and why? Because I've just been thinking about date films, how you pick a film to watch with someone you're trying to woo.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Trying to woo, or trying to woo hoo?

Gen Fricker:

Woo hoo if you're in Sims [inaudible 00:01:12]. Anyway, because I was reading about how people watch horror films on dates because it elevates your heart rate and that's quite similar to doing it, you know what I mean? So it's kind of a physiological reaction that leads a psychological connection.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Okay, I think that makes sense to me. I think as well, with dating, if you think about it in back in the old days and times, dating, going to the movies, you have that image of two teenagers going to a movie, sitting next to each other. One, slyly tries to put their arm over the other.

Gen Fricker:

A bit of a yawn and a stretch.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

One of the most classic moves a guy could make-

Gen Fricker:

Yeah.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

... Is a yawn and stretch.

Gen Fricker:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I think as well as it's perhaps a low pressure scenario if you're going out with someone [inaudible 00:02:00] first date, [inaudible 00:02:02] a teenage, or you're discombobulated, you don't know how to freaking talk, you're nervous. It allows like physical intimacy by being close and sitting next to a person, you're sharing your popcorns and stuff, but there's no pressure to communicate verbally, that's off. And all the pressure is on whoever's on the screen, your Jake Gyllenhaals, your Ryan Phillippes, your stars... I don't know why to picked those two guys but it's...

Gen Fricker:

Jake Gyllenhaals and Ryan Phillippes.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

All the pressure's on the guys on the big screen, not on you.

Gen Fricker:

Hunks on screen so you don't have to be a hunk IRL. I get that, for sure, it's just made me think a lot about the movies I've seen on dates, because then you're putting so much pressure on the movie to carry the date-

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Absolutely.

Gen Fricker:

... Because you're not talking, like you said, it's all just sitting there, kind of being in the presence of each other without having really to communicate. I do feel it's kind of a good vibe check on someone. If you're going to a comedy or whatever, or if they're laughing and it's not a company film, you're like, "Okay, you're a psycho." Or whatever.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That's tough. I think everyone's been there. Even if you put a YouTube video on for your friends or something, [inaudible 00:03:10], "I saw the funniest video." And then you're sitting in silence for six minutes and you're like, "Oh my God, I'm bombing so bad." It's that relatable thing of putting the pressure on to that. I have a lot of trouble with this because I'm a movie boy, movies on my everything, it's hard to share those things sometimes, like, "Oh, this means a lot to me." Because I don't feel it's fair to also put that pressure on the other person to like go... For me, I love The Godfather, it's my favourite movie ever, and I'm just like, "Am I going to put it on?" My partner and I have seen The Godfather together, thank goodness they loved it, but I wouldn't be doing it like day one going like, "Hey, I got to check you out, dude. I got to make sure you cut the mustard for me."

Gen Fricker:

I had an ex who tried to make me watch The Godfather twice. I just kept telling him like, "I'm not interested. I'm sorry. I just don't want to, it doesn't seem it's a movie for me." And that's always a distinction for me, it's not me going like, "This is a bad film." It's always just like, "I have a limited amount of time on this earth. I don't want to waste it on stuff I don't want to watch."

Alexei Toliopoulos:

"Three hours of Marlon Brando mumbling, no, thank you."

Gen Fricker:

Exactly. He tried it twice. The first time he put it on, I fell asleep. It's late, I was tired, and I was not interested, as I had said from the get go, but I was like, "Fine. Put it on." Second time I fell asleep again, but that was more of a protest sleep, I was like, it came on the credit started, I just closed my eyes.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

"I'm sleeping and not with the fishes that the movie is anticipating, okay?"

Gen Fricker:

Exactly.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I think that for me, this is my advice though, listeners out there, if you are about to go onto a date with someone, this is my advice to you as well, Gen, you are allowed to listen to this advice.

Gen Fricker:

All right, I'm opening my ears.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

My advice is, you pick a neutral movie one thing both of you have never seen, you don't have care about, but maybe there's something in that's like a, "Oh, it's got Ryan Philippe in it so that's something I want to discuss."

Gen Fricker:

And Jake Gyllenhaal?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah, we got Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Philippe, they're playing twins or something, and that movie does exist, don't look it up, anybody. But something like that where there's enough intrigue, but especially if you're at home watching it together, or over the internet watching together, you can talk over it enough to talk over it as well, get to know each other because if you're putting the pressure on the movie to deliver and it doesn't, that's a bit of a heinous crime, I would say.

Gen Fricker:

Okay. I'm with you 100%, I think there's such value in discovering something together. Experiencing something for the first time together, I think that's very nice, but it has absolutely backfired on me multiple times.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Really?

Gen Fricker:

One of the first times I ever was really dating as an adult, I'd been seeing this guy for a while, he was really sweet. The first time he asked me out he created a Facebook event and just invited me and him.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That's cool.

Gen Fricker:

It was really cute.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That is sweet.

Gen Fricker:

With a time and a place, and I was like, "That's so cute." A lot of effort.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Gen Fricker:

Anyway. And then for the second day he was like, "Oh, hey, there's this movie I really want to see, it's a Kevin Smith movie." And I like kind of bro-y movies so I was like, "Yeah, cool. Sure. Let's go." The movie was called Tusk.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh, okay. So it's the Kevin Smith horror movie with Justin Long., He's getting turned into a walrus or something, right?

Gen Fricker:

Yes. It's a movie about a man getting turned into a walrus and being kept in a human zoo, and it is-

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh, good lord.

Gen Fricker:

... Horrible. It's not scary, it's just horrible. And honestly, our relationship ended after that. We walked into that cinema with so much potential, riding high off the back of this Facebook invite date where he'd picked this romantic Italian restaurant, he'd researched the... He put so much effort into it and the second date, we walked in there holding hands, we walked out shaking hands and never looking at each other [crosstalk 00:07:03].

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That's cold.

Gen Fricker:

Right?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

The handshake.

Gen Fricker:

[crosstalk 00:07:05] it was like body horror.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. It is a body horror movie, literally.

Gen Fricker:

Totally. They've just been other movies that I've watched for dates and I've been like, "I don't know why I'm watching this." I went and saw Blue Valentine on a first date.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I just got chills. That's maybe the worst date movie ever, that's like taking a date to see Marriage Story.

Gen Fricker:

I know, right? So if you haven't seen Blue Valentine, it's been out for over a decade so I feel like this is... If you haven't seen it and you're worried about spoilers, whatever...

Alexei Toliopoulos:

You should know what it is in case you're deciding, "Oh, it's a Valentine's day movie." Watch it on the day.

Gen Fricker:

"Blue? I love the colour blue."

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. This is a public service. This is a warning, not a spoiler alert.

Gen Fricker:

This is a warning. So it's basically told... Like a relationship in reverse, it starts with them breaking up basically.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.

Gen Fricker:

Yeah. It's beautiful movie, it's not a first date movie.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. I'm actually sickened to hear that you did that.

Gen Fricker:

Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, it doesn't work out for them so why would it work out for us?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I can't remember any good date movies I've been on, only bad ones so I'm like, "This was not the right fit or something." I remember I saw Her, the Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with the voice on his phone movie. Love that movie. I saw that on a date, but it was with a new person I'd just been seeing and I was getting over a long distance relationship heartbreak. And the movie is basically an allegory for long distance relationships.

Gen Fricker:

Spike Jones directed it. It's beautiful, it's a beautiful movie. Full of yearning.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Absolute yearning, it's a yearn fest, and I was like, "This is the wrong vibe." And they're like, "Yeah, pretty interesting movie." And I'm like, "I'm sorry, I'm a loser. I've got stuff going on in my life. I'm a loser." But then as well I remember seeing Funny People on a date.

Gen Fricker:

Is that Adam Sandler?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Adam Sandler...

Gen Fricker:

But serious Sandler.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Semi-serious, semi-sweet Sandler because it's about him as a standup comedian who perhaps he's dying of cancer. Three hours, it's a long movie. I love it, I've got a poster of it in my room that I can see right now, but I saw it on this date...

Gen Fricker:

It is three hours, isn't it? I forgot that.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh yeah. And it was a packed cinema and I'm kissing them and stuff, I'm like, "This is [inaudible 00:09:31]."

Gen Fricker:

[inaudible 00:09:31] needs to reel it the hell in, frankly.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. Exactly. But for me the worst one, I saw a movie that at the time I thought was really cool, and since going on, I'm like, "This is toxic movie." And I saw it on a date that did lead to me, perhaps coming of age, if you will.

Gen Fricker:

What is this movie?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I lost my virginity on the same date. The movie was 500 Days of Summer.

Gen Fricker:

Oh, no.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. And it was so awkward because it was my first proper partner and we went to see the movie together, assuming it would be a sweet romantic comedy, but it's all about being in that phase of your relationship where you're like, "What are we? Okay, what are we?" And I'm like, "Oh, no we're in that what are we phase." And it was so much about that and about this kind of masculine entitlement so it's a bit icky as well. And we were just grim when we left the cinema, and then we went and had lunch, but we're teenagers in the city, we were in the city, we didn't know where to go for lunch so we went to the all you can eat Pizza Hut.

Gen Fricker:

Hell yeah. That sounds like a good day then.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

And then it was still grim because the person sitting next to us was a older lady by herself, reading a romance novel while eating a full pizza.

Gen Fricker:

At the all you can eat Pizza Hut buffet.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yes and she was reading an erotic romance novel, devouring a pizza, and we're just like, "No. I'm a sweet summer child. This is too much of my life." And then it continued on and [inaudible 00:11:10] I evolved that evening after that happened.

Gen Fricker:

Wow!

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. So too much pressure, too much pressure watching a date... I don't think date movies, it's not for me.

Gen Fricker:

Side note though. I feel Pizza Hut, all you can eat buffet, was the [inaudible 00:11:26] of our generation for high school. It was a real event to be going there.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh, of course. Have you ever tried the desserts they have there? My God.

Gen Fricker:

The soft serve bar, darling.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

There's a soft serve bar, you can make it yourself, it's the same way people [inaudible 00:11:41] talk about going to a gourmet restaurant now, go, "My God, they've got a dessert there that blew my mind."

Gen Fricker:

Have you tried squirting the hot chocolate sauce and the caramel sauce?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Gen, we're movie experts here, and I think we have a bit of a duty. We've talked about what are some bad day movies we've been on. What do you think is perhaps the best possible date movie?

Gen Fricker:

That's so hard. It's really a good date so the movie is just one part of whatever else happens that day?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yes.

Gen Fricker:

The movie is the doorway.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I think I just thought of perhaps the best doorway.

Gen Fricker:

Okay.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

This is my pitch. This is the movie that you should watch on a date, the Brendan Fraser version of The Mummy, the 1999 Mummy, because it is funny, it is exciting, it's a period piece, it is extremely sexy, everyone is gorgeous in it.

Gen Fricker:

It's so sexy.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

And so many different flavours of sexy. Brendan Fraser, classic heartthrob, Rachel Weisz, bookish nerd. You've got Omid Djalili who is a big boy who's quite attractive in that movie. You've got Arnold Vosloo as the mummy himself, Imhotep with that bald chrome dome.

Gen Fricker:

Hot.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Everyone is hot in that movie.

Gen Fricker:

A formative experience in that movie.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yeah. Everyone's hot in that movie. Totally a formative experience. I think that is the perfect one because it's got everything you need from the big Hollywood adventures, funny, romantic, sexy, and there stuff to talk to, and it's also nostalgic now so you've got stuff to talk about yourself.

Gen Fricker:

Yeah. Oh, that's so good. That's such a good recommendation.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I actually think I just cracked the fricking code over here.

Gen Fricker:

I think you're a genius. And I say that to you every day, but today I truly mean it.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

This is the first time that it's been genuine. And if you don't have access to The Mummy, Indiana Jones is just as good, and just as sexy.

Gen Fricker:

It is, Harrison Ford.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Oh, come on. I want his shoes under my beds.

Gen Fricker:

A hat and a whip? Good lord. I'm going to give you a list of movies and you tell me if you think... If someone took you to one of these movies on a date-

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Yep, wow.

Gen Fricker:

... Whether you'd be with them forever or you'd dump them immediately.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Okay.

Gen Fricker:

Slash of pash. Troy.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

Troy, okay. For me, I'm going to say that is pash because it is set in Greek Grecian times, I feel like they're thinking of me as a Greek hunk.

Gen Fricker:

Okay. The DaVinci Code.

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That is a slash.

Gen Fricker:

That's a slash?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

I'm sorry, not sexy. Tom Hanks, not good hair in that movie.

Gen Fricker:

That's it, that's [inaudible 00:14:40]?

Alexei Toliopoulos:

That's all I need to go. Don't like his hair cut in it, it's a slash.